My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

What Are A Few Zeros, Anyway?

In Starbucks now and some people are talking about a surgical seminar.  A guy and two girls.  One of the girls is in scrubs.  I am pretty sure they are medical professionals.  Guy then says this:
Math Guy: This guy made 370 million dollars.  That is a lot of money.  That is over half of what [...]

HP All-In-One

A lot of people bring laptops into Starbucks, myself included. One day some dude brought in a full size HP all-in-one scanner/printer/copier. He proceeded to print out hundreds of pages. I took a picture when he got up to go to the bathroom. That is all.

Define Sexual Thing

I literally just overheard this conversation:
Girl In Denial: No, I never had a sexual thing with him.
Curious Guy: So you didn’t have sex with him?
Girl In Denial: No, I fucked him, but it wasn’t, you know, a thing.
Curious Guy (sounding slightly broken inside): Oh.

It’s A Trap!

I’m going to let you in on something.  Starbucks is like a refueling station for hot chicks.  They dock, fill up with nonfat soy latte, then fly off my radar.  This is why I was pleased, but not overly surprised when one day I found myself in line behind what appeared to be an attractive [...]