My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

It’s A Trap!

I’m going to let you in on something.  Starbucks is like a refueling station for hot chicks.  They dock, fill up with nonfat soy latte, then fly off my radar.  This is why I was pleased, but not overly surprised when one day I found myself in line behind what appeared to be an attractive female.  I’ve even got photographic evidence to prove it.

Why did I need photographic evidence?  Well, to show my point of view, of course.  She is the one in the pink top and jeans that say BeBe on the butt.  Looks pretty decent right?  Well, it only took a few moments for me to realize that she was actually 60-70 years old.  See additional photo.  I am quite positive she has traumatized many a family member with her insistence on trying to be a GILF.  Passport to GILF island?  Revoked.

I almost forgot to mention, she proceeded to sit a a table directly to my left, by herself, facing me.  Though I could see her looking at me through my periphery, I never once broke eye-to-lcd contact with my macbook. pro.

This happened again when she showed up at the same location a few days later.  Haven’t seen her since.

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