My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

That’s a Venti 10-4, Buddy. Over.

Firefighters like Starbucks.  I see them there all the time.
One day I was standing behind two of them in line when the alarm on their radio went off.  Poor guys, didn’t even get to order.  Oh well, duty calls, right?  So one of the firefighters grabs the radio…
Firefighter: This is Firefighter.
Dispatch: Hey there.  We are [...]

The Man That Puts His Hands In My Mouth.

So remember this post from a while back, where I mentioned there might be another story?  This is that other story.
I almost didn’t want to post this because it is so weird that it sounds fictional, but I assure you it is not.  So that group that was talking in the previous post also happened [...]

Son, Get Your Act Together.

This was an actual conversation between a very harsh father and his 5 year-old son, grammar errors and all.  I typed it out as it was actually going down.  Note that the father was completely serious and very short with the kid through all of this.
Harsh Dad: I want to know what you learned.
Kid: I [...]

Wait, What? Can Bees Even Read?

I was parking at Starbucks last night when I saw this tape wrapped around the bushes surrounding the parking spot.  I couldn’t make heads or tails of what the intentions were of the person that created this tape, but I was intrigued.  The tape reads: “STOP! BEES NO ENTRANCE”  It then repeats in espanol (”ALTO! [...]

Homeless and Coffee

Homeless man enters.  Buys small coffee. Digs straw (used?) out of trash despite a full container of straws on counter. Drinks small coffee.  Fills empty cup up with creamer.  Drinks entire cup of creamer.  Gets shooed away.  Just sits outside instead.

It’s Not Funny When It Happens To Me

Okay, so I am actually pretty pissed off right now.  I was just at Starbucks about an hour ago, ordered a large coffee and went outside to sit down and do some writing.  After sitting the coffee on the table and sitting down, I went to put my laptop bag on the table.  As I [...]

Thanks… For Just Being You?

So I was at getting some half coffee / half milk tea (a very good combo, btw) at around 11pm one evening at Cha, only to be confronted by an older homeless woman as I left.  She asked for some money to which I responded, “Oh, I don’t have any.  I just spent it.”
That was [...]

Heck’s Angels

Okay, so this technically isn’t in a Starbucks, but I took these pictures while waiting at the light to turn into the Starbucks parking lot.
The hardest part about this post?  Picking just one title.  Other alternatives were:
On The Way to The FMSGOA (Future Mall Security Guards of America) Meeting
Can Modern Bullies Run 12 mph?
“Hey guys, [...]

Brad vs Firefighter

Sometimes it can be a bit tough getting a seat at the Irvine Starbucks, especially if you want one that has a cushion. Luckily for me, one was open. I went over and sat my computer bag on the table, then went and bought my coffee. When I returned with my coffee, [...]

Close Encounters of the Awkward Kind

So, a while back at one particular location I started noticing a fellow regular (FR).  She frequented the place, studying for her MCATs .   Though the first few times I saw her passed without event, things soon got awkward.
Awkward Chivalry: FR gets up from one of the comfy chairs next to me to go to [...]