My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

It’s Not Funny When It Happens To Me

Okay, so I am actually pretty pissed off right now.  I was just at Starbucks about an hour ago, ordered a large coffee and went outside to sit down and do some writing.  After sitting the coffee on the table and sitting down, I went to put my laptop bag on the table.  As I sat it down, I was quickly informed that the table had a broken/uneven leg.  Who informed me?  Oh, my scalding hot coffee of course.

The entire cup (didn’t even try a sip yet, it was too hot) spilled into my lap and all down my right leg.  It also coated my laptop, drenched my shorts, and dampened my shirt.

When it happened I did what any reasonable person would do;  I jumped up and yelled, “That hurt!”  The people at the table next to me were kind enough to offer a single napkin (which kinda reminded me of this, but it was a nice thought).

I then stormed inside, told them there is a broken table that caused my coffee to dump in my lap.  They said, “Oh, sorry” then gave me a free drink coupon.  I them marched out, got coffee all over my car seats, then drove home rather fast to clean up.  I had to take a bath because I needed to keep my leg mostly away from the hot water because of the burn.

Now, here I sit, about 2 hours later, my leg still burning.  I’m pretty sure it gave me first degree burns.  I took pictures, but I soon realized my white furry legs aren’t that pretty burned or not.  Just imagine a really red blotchy sun burn around my knee area and you’ll get the idea.

Now I sit here with a social dilema.  I want to write to corporate because I am pretty pissed about their broken table, but I also really like this Starbucks location because it is open late.  I don’t want to go there all the time and be known as the guy that got them in trouble.  Oh well.

Starbucks coffee burned my leg.  I feel like an episode of Seinfeld.

I bet The Coffee Bean wouldn’t have let this happen…

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