My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Yes, Yes I Am

I like it when they think my name is Rad.

It Happened Startlingly Close To Midnight

I was sitting next to a girl for a while. When I looked over, she was gone and there was a tennis ball in her place. I thought it was weird.

Maybe It Was Jenna Malone?

This is a recent one. This week actually. I was driving out of the Starbucks parking lot when i noticed Cute Redhead putting up a sign of some sort. I also noticed that she noticed me. She started to slowly wave, her facial expression unchanging. I slowly waved back, my facial [...]

Headphones. Jacked.

I got my coffee, sat down, put my headphones on, opened up my laptop, started playing some music, then opened the script I was working on that day.
It took me a whole song* to realize that I had put the earbuds in my ears, but I’d never plugged them into my computer. I was [...]

This Sucks, No Matter How You Slice It

Word of warning: this isn’t a funny story. This one just kinda sucks, so I’m going to keep it short. While at Starbucks one day, a homeless man entered. He was quite dirty and clearly had a bit of crazy in his eye. Because it was a slow day and there were [...]

Of Portly Dudes and High School Girls

So there was this older (40ish) portly dude sitting by himself in Starbucks. There was this younger girl sitting by herself in Starbucks. After a few moments Portly Dude strikes up a conversation with Younger Girl. It is soon revealed that Younger Girl was in high school and waiting for a college [...]

Flavor Saver

This story isn’t as funny as it is interesting on a social level. A lady in front of me kept telling the barista (I think that is what they like to be called) that she wanted the same flavor of Sorbetto that she was served on her last visit, though she didn’t know which [...]

Miracle Coffee

Average Coffee (Black) + Miracle Fruit = Really Great Coffee.

UGGGGGGHHHHHH!

A mom brings in 3 kids with her, all around the ages of 3 to 7.  They sit at the table closest to the counter, where all the employees are easily within earshot.  The little girl, very impressed by this particular Starbucks, begins this exchange:
Little Girl: Mommy, if we lived here would you get a [...]

Passive Agressive Awkwardness

At this particular Starbucks there were two comfy chairs (there are now three, but only two when this took place). I like to sit in said comfy chairs. One day while sitting in half of all of the comfy chairs, this exchange took place:
Setup: Couple enters Starbucks. Doesn’t notice Brad in one [...]