My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Passive Agressive Awkwardness

At this particular Starbucks there were two comfy chairs (there are now three, but only two when this took place). I like to sit in said comfy chairs. One day while sitting in half of all of the comfy chairs, this exchange took place:

Setup: Couple enters Starbucks. Doesn’t notice Brad in one of the chairs. Places their order. Takes coffee. Walks outside. Woman (presumably) sees the one extra comfy chair open inside. Couple returns back inside. Woman notices Brad sitting in other comfy chair.

Woman: Let’s go sit outside.
Man: You just said you wanted to sit inside.
Woman: Well now I want to sit outside.
Man: Then why did we come back in to sit inside?
(Woman glares at Brad in a comfy chair.)
Woman (on the verge of yelling): I changed my mind.
Man (moderated public yelling voice): Fine! I’m sitting inside. You can go sit outside.
(Woman glares at Man. Man sighs and follows Woman outside. Man is no longer a man. Brad feels really awkward.)

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