Thanks… For Just Being You?

October 15, 2008.
Coffee Shop: Irvine Cha @ University Center

So I was at getting some half coffee / half milk tea (a very good combo, btw) at around 11pm one evening at Cha, only to be confronted by an older homeless woman as I left.  She asked for some money to which I responded, “Oh, I don’t have any.  I just spent it.”

That was a lie.  I had more money.  This is what got to me.  I don’t have a huge problem with not always giving to the homeless, but it was really bothering me that I told her I didn’t have any.  So I am sitting at a table, enjoyiing my drink as she is starting to leave.  I get up and pull out a dollar.  She is already rolling her shopping cart away.  I am already starting to feel awkward.  I say “excuse me.” She doesn’t turn.  I could have just sat back down, but I’ve passed the threshold at this point.  This woman is taking this dollar whether she wants it or not.  “Exuse me” I say louder.  She turns.  I hand her the dollar and say, “Here you go.  Thanks.”

Thanks!?  Why the hell did I say thanks?  I wasn’t paying for goods or services rendered (oh gosh, I hope people didn’t think that).  I’m giving her a dollar!  Even she realized how awkward this was and laughed at me as she took the buck.  She then returned an awkward “thanks” and rolled away.

I sit back down, deafeted again by a social situation.  This time by a homeless person.

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