My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

The Man That Puts His Hands In My Mouth.

So remember this post from a while back, where I mentioned there might be another story?  This is that other story.

I almost didn’t want to post this because it is so weird that it sounds fictional, but I assure you it is not.  So that group that was talking in the previous post also happened to be talking about some colleagues of theirs.  I am going to withhold names to protect the guilty.  Let’s just call them Zach and Kelly.   So…

One of the girls asked about a certain doctor (Zach), and asked if he was going to be at the seminar they were planning.  The other girl then asked, “Oh, is Zach the one that is married to Kelly?” which drew the response, “Is that the same Zach that was married to Lisa?”  This then launched the guy into a story about how Zach and Kelly came to be.  I am paraphrasing, but it went something like this…

Zach was married to Lisa.  Kelly was married to AC.  Kelly was Zach’s receptionist.  Kelly and Zach started seeing each other on the side.  One day, while Zach was hanging with Kelly at The Max (a.k.a. a Porsche Boxter), A.C. followed them.  Of course A.C. was furious because Zach and Kelly were sharing what must have been a very uncomfortable milkshake.  A.C. went nuts.  Kelly ran out the door of The Max.  Zach however, tried to climb out the half rolled-down window of The Max and got stuck.

The story ended here because the guy telling the story stood up and bent over the back of a Starbucks chair to emulate a person trying to climb out of a half rolled up Porsche Boxter window.

The girls then laughed and the story moved on to the topic of how funny it was that Zach and Kelly ended up married.  They conversation then went on to talk about how they have kids now and about Zach and Kelly’s kids from their first marriges.  They also talked about height discrepencies.

All of this piqued my interest because Zach and Kelly are the names of my dentist and his receptionist-now-wife. They matched the height descriptions, and I still remember the day when he told me about his new Porsche.

Zach and Kelly being friends of my mom’s, I immediately asked her about all of the various smaller details, and as I had suspected, they all checked out.

I will now forever see my dentist as the (most likely naked) guy trying to squeeze out of a Boxter window.  He really should have had the top down.

Leave a Comment

Hopefully something coffee related...