My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Wait, What? Can Bees Even Read?

I was parking at Starbucks last night when I saw this tape wrapped around the bushes surrounding the parking spot.  I couldn’t make heads or tails of what the intentions were of the person that created this tape, but I was intrigued.  The tape reads: “STOP! BEES NO ENTRANCE”  It then repeats in espanol (”ALTO! ABEJAS NO ENTRAR” which still sounds like it’s trying to tell bees to keep he hell out of these bushes).

It wasn’t until I was actually standing in the bushes taking this second picture when it dawned on me.  These bushes were probably teeming with bees.  The sign wasn’t trying to prevent bees from entering, it was trying to prevent me from climbing into the bushes (which, ironically, I would have never done had it not been for the caution tape in the first place).

Someone needs to sit down and take a serious look at their punctuational abilities.  Not only did they leave out something to seperate “BEES” and “NO”, but they also neglected to use the eternally awesome upside down exclamation point prior to the “ALTO!”

Still, despite the flashes in my head of the bees swarming on me, trying to form some sort of bee-beard on my face, I escaped without incident…

…this time…

Leave a Comment

Hopefully something coffee related...