Brad’s Quick Tip To Avoid Awkwardness / Getting Stabbed.
Coffee Shop: Newport Starbucks @ PCH & Riverside
Frequenting Starbucks can sometimes put you in compromising situations. Take, for example, what just happened to me a few moments ago.
A man who may or may not have been homeless had been wandering around outside of Starbucks since I’d arrived. After a few hours of wandering, he decided to come into the virtually empty establishment, sit down in the chair next to me (which was in close enough proximity that I could smell his pungent odor), then stare at me.
While this may have just been a person unrefined in the subtleties of people watching, I didn’t really want to stick around. I also didn’t want him to think I was leaving just because he’d sat down next to me (he was a minority and that might be construed as a hate crime). Here are the steps that I followed to make my tasteful getaway:
1. Turn cellphone ringer to loud.
2. Log into AIM on laptop.
3. Send self a text message warning self to “GTFO!”
4. Wait for text message to arrive with a chime.
5. Read text message with a concerned expression on your face.
6. Immediately pack up your belongings and leave.
Bonus: 7: Check text message one last time because you can hardly believe what it just said.
*Note: you may also use this technique on dates, but the other person is usually ready to leave by the step 2.
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