My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Anything You Can Racially Profile, I Can Profile Better.

Starbucks seems like a very common place to conduct interviews.  I always see people sitting around, waiting for someone, having no idea what they’ll look like.  One Old Lady was sitting around for about 15 minutes before walking over to another lone patron who happened to be an Ethnic Guy.  The conversation went as follows…

Old Lady: Excuse me, are you Carlos?

I must note that everything that comes out of Ethnic Guy’s mouth is saturated in contempt.

Ethnic Guy: Carlos?
Old Lady: Yes, by any chance are you Carlos?
Ethnic Guy: I’m asian and white.
Old Lady: Uhhmmmmmm… okay.

Five minutes later the real Carlos showed up.  Ethnic Guy wasn’t impressed.

In Old Lady’s defense, Ethnic Guy looked a lot like Carlos Mencia.

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Hopefully something coffee related...

2 Comments so far

1. bencox February 11, 2009 11:04 pm

   You’re really slacking here, Brad.

2. admin February 11, 2009 11:30 pm

   Don’t I know it. I’ve been going to coffee drinking, just waiting for weird stuff to happen, but I’ve been coming up short. I even hit a Coffee Bean today. Nada. I’m going to an old stand-by tomorrow. Hopefully something weird will go down.