My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Yes, Rain is Wet.

It rained yesterday.  Quite a bit, actually.  That tends to make all of the stuff outside wet.  Well, there was one elderly man that didn’t seem to fully grasp this idea.

He bought his coffee, walked outside, walked back inside, then asked if he could borrow one of the rags that the Baristas use to wipe down the tables and counters.  Being the friendly people they are, they handed him a rag.  He then says:

“I sat down in that chair out there and the seat was all wet.”

This is followed by a firm slapping of his own wet ass. It made a sound similar to that of dropping a soaked t-shirt on the floor.  He then placed the rag on one of the leather chairs, said:

“This should dry it off.”

Then sat down and made a noise that can only be spelled:

“OhhhooOOHhhh!”

He finally settled down and started reading his book, “A Magnificent Mind at Any Age.”

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