My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

How To Be A Douchebag.

Step 1: Grow a goatee.

Step 2: Go to Coffee Bean.

Step 3: Set giant headphones on your table.

Step 4: Blare death metal through afformentioned headphones (still on table), thus effectively making them not headphones at all.

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Hopefully something coffee related...