My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Girls: 2,345, Brad: 1.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like talking on my phone for any extended amount of time while in a coffee shop. I’ve also mentioned that there are always hot girls around. Most always, anyway. Anyhow….

While waiting for an important call, my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. Knowing that it was going to be a longer conversation, I jumped up for the door and reached my hand into my pocket just as an Attractive Girl had packed up and was leaving. My urgency brought me to the door just as she was grabbing the handle. She stopped and smiled at me.

Attractive Girl: “Hi.”

Brad holds a blank stare while making eye contact and slowly pulling his phone from his pocket, and raising it to his ear.

Brad (into phone): “Hello?”

Attractive Girl’s eyes went wide and she walked out the door. She laughed and muttered something to herself as she stepped off the curb. I took my call.

Attractive Girl now knows what it’s like to be me.

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