My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

GIVE ME ESPRESSO IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

So there I was, in Starbucks minding my own business when Lonely Guy sitting across from me by himself goes into a stroke-like blank stare and mutters, “Arnold” under his breath. I was fairly certain I’d just witnessed someone develop Alzheimer’s in front of my eyes, until he finally got out what he was trying to say…

Lonely Guy: “Arnold is here!”

I guess it was not a tumor. Lonely Guy was right. Arnold Schwarzenegger walked in with a posse, ordered a double espresso, had a chat, then left. He didn’t even say he’d be back.

Alright, I’m done with the Arnold references…

ICE TO SEE YOU!

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