My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Hobo Lesson #2

Order a medium coffee with no room for cream.  Ask for it in a large cup.  Fill the extra room with cream.  That saves you ten hobo cents!
The sad thing is, the man I saw do this was not a hobo.

Awkwardness Wears A Hat.

Even when I’m doing work at a coffee shop with a friend, sometimes I like to get my own table.  Keeps me focused.  This particular time, while there with my buddy AJ, there were plenty of tables open… which is what made it so funny when a random Guy in a Hat decided to sit [...]

We Also Use The Metric System, Bro!

I’ve got a new local Coffee Bean. It’s roomy and within walking distance. Also, at night it fills up with a bunch of Douchey Persian Guys that crowd your personal space, glare at you, yell a lot as they play cards, and smoke like chimneys.
One of them was on his cellphone calling for [...]

I Hate My Reflection.

One of the biggest problems with writing in coffee shops in LA are the other writers. I don’t like seeing other people do what I do. it bothers me. Especially one’s that say things like this…
Douchey Writer: “I just found out that my life is Ext. Poolside. Day. Hahahahah!”
Fade out.

Maybe You Can Find The Common Thread.

As I’ve mentioned before, sometimes I can only difinitively make out parts of a conversation. Sometimes I’ll have to throw away a whole post because I didn’t get the whole story, but sometimes the portions are all that you need. The following all comes from a conversation between two ladies who both sounded [...]

No, Not In That Order.

Though this doesn’t take place at a coffee shop, it involves coffee, so it counts. I make the rules.
While doing some late night moving, I stopped by CVS at 3 am to buy some rope to tie down the TV in the back of my car. And because I had an [...]

Encore!

Two couples were congregated near the creamer station. I caught the tail-end of a Girl throwing a pity party saying…
Self Pity Girl: “…because my life sucks.”
At that very moment, a Happy Guy unassociated with Self Pity Girl claps and smiles. Self Pity Girl glares at Happy Guy.
Happy Guy: “Sorry. I’m not clapping [...]

Revenge of the King Douche.

Remember King Douche? Of course you do. Well, I ran into him again, and unfortunately the only open seat was at the study station next to him. Though I try to look beyond these sort of things, I should mention that King Douche is Persian. It’s relevant to the story [...]

HP All-In-Two.

Remember back when this site first started and I told you about a guy that brought an HP all-in-one printer into Starbucks? Apparently that sort of thing happens at Coffee Bean as well. I know the picture is a bit blurry, but the guy was watching me so I was trying to be [...]

A Robot Sent From The Past To Steal Our Megabytes.

I’ve been dreading writing this post because I’m worried that my, despite the fact that I call myself a writer, I won’t be able to capture the oddity of this particular situation. Keep in mind, while I paraphrase what I said to her, I was writing down what she was saying verbatim, as she [...]