My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

HP All-In-Two.

Remember back when this site first started and I told you about a guy that brought an HP all-in-one printer into Starbucks? Apparently that sort of thing happens at Coffee Bean as well. I know the picture is a bit blurry, but the guy was watching me so I was trying to be [...]

“From The Gay Movie?” “No, From Batman.”

Okay, so there is having little knowledge of pop culture, then there is just living under a rock…
Informative Man: “You know that guy, Heath Ledger? The actor?”

I’ll Take A Uni-shot Espresso.

The unibomber was sleeping outside of Coffee Bean. That is all.

Girls: 2,345, Brad: 1.

I’ve mentioned before that I don’t like talking on my phone for any extended amount of time while in a coffee shop. I’ve also mentioned that there are always hot girls around. Most always, anyway. Anyhow….
While waiting for an important call, my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. Knowing that [...]

“I Always Like a Smoke After a Good Round of Emulating Car Noises.”

Crazy Dude: BROOOM! BRRRROOOOM! BRRRRROOOOM!!!!!! …. Does anyone have a cigarette?
No one answered.
I looked at him and shook my head, half signifying that I didn’t have a cigarette, half signifying my disapproval of his behavior.

This Note Isn’t For You; It’s For Self.

Note to self: Don’t wear cardigan to coffee shop.  Guys will nod at you.
Side note: May apply for places other than coffee shop.

How To Be A Douchebag.

Step 1: Grow a goatee.
Step 2: Go to Coffee Bean.
Step 3: Set giant headphones on your table.
Step 4: Blare death metal through afformentioned headphones (still on table), thus effectively making them not headphones at all.