My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Maybe You Can Find The Common Thread.

As I’ve mentioned before, sometimes I can only difinitively make out parts of a conversation. Sometimes I’ll have to throw away a whole post because I didn’t get the whole story, but sometimes the portions are all that you need. The following all comes from a conversation between two ladies who both sounded [...]

Encore!

Two couples were congregated near the creamer station. I caught the tail-end of a Girl throwing a pity party saying…
Self Pity Girl: “…because my life sucks.”
At that very moment, a Happy Guy unassociated with Self Pity Girl claps and smiles. Self Pity Girl glares at Happy Guy.
Happy Guy: “Sorry. I’m not clapping [...]

So, By… Gayness Then?

I overheard a Man who was, I believe, making the transition from digital to analog with a new friend that he met online…
Analog Man: “Well, you said there are some pictures that you look better in than in person… I happen to look better in some pictures than I do in person. You’d [...]

Carl from Up!

Nothing clever. This guy just looked like Carl, from the Pixar movie, “Up“. Being that this was at UCI, guys that looked like Russell were a dime a dozen.

More Exclamations = More Success!!!!

Adam had a whole binder of success planned. The sad part is that Adam saw me taking a picture of his binder. He flipped it over to face away from me. I felt like a dick.

Old Ladies Love Cats. Young Ladies Love Old Ladies.

I love when people fall into stereotypes. I don’t know if it’s because I find comfort in my limited wold view, if it feels like life is imitating a movie, or if it’s just so typical it’s funny. Still, sitting next to Old Ladies and listening to them talk about their cats and [...]

Bluedouche.

Douchey Guy walks up to the counter to order.
Douchey Guy: “Did he ask you?”
Baristo: “Ask what?”
Douchey Guy: “Did he ask you!?
Douchey Guy points at the douchey device in his ear.
Douchey Guy: “I’m on my phone…”
Baristo: “Oh.”
Douchey Guy: “Did he ask you to meet at my house on Saturday?”
People in line wait for conversation to finish.

Pandemic Panic.

So I’ve been a little sick as of late.  That has contributed to the lack of posts (because I haven’t been going out to coffee shops).  I’m pretty much better now, but I still cough once in a while.  Sometimes in public.
I was sitting in a particularly crowded Pete’s Coffee with an open chair next [...]

Coffee Isn’t Carbonated, So I Hate You.

A dude just burped on me. He was sitting at the table next to me, turned to face me, burped directly at my ear (about 18 inches from me), got up, then walked outside.  He could have at least burped straight forward.   Thankfully Pete’s doesn’t serve salami flavored coffee.