My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Panda Express Viral Marketing?

Just when I thought I’d had an uneventful evening at Starbucks, I walk out the door at about 10 to midnight when a car with 2 dudes in it drives by and the passenger screams out…
“HEY ORANGE CHICKEN!”
First I want to clarify that I am absolutely sure this is what he said.  Also, I was [...]

Thanks For Caring.

The baristo asked me how my leg was after the spill from last week.  Made me feel better about the whole situation.

Wait, What? Can Bees Even Read?

I was parking at Starbucks last night when I saw this tape wrapped around the bushes surrounding the parking spot.  I couldn’t make heads or tails of what the intentions were of the person that created this tape, but I was intrigued.  The tape reads: “STOP! BEES NO ENTRANCE”  It then repeats in espanol (”ALTO! [...]

It’s Not Funny When It Happens To Me

Okay, so I am actually pretty pissed off right now.  I was just at Starbucks about an hour ago, ordered a large coffee and went outside to sit down and do some writing.  After sitting the coffee on the table and sitting down, I went to put my laptop bag on the table.  As I [...]

Brad vs Firefighter

Sometimes it can be a bit tough getting a seat at the Irvine Starbucks, especially if you want one that has a cushion. Luckily for me, one was open. I went over and sat my computer bag on the table, then went and bought my coffee. When I returned with my coffee, [...]

Yes, Yes I Am

I like it when they think my name is Rad.

It Happened Startlingly Close To Midnight

I was sitting next to a girl for a while. When I looked over, she was gone and there was a tennis ball in her place. I thought it was weird.

Miracle Coffee

Average Coffee (Black) + Miracle Fruit = Really Great Coffee.

Define Sexual Thing

I literally just overheard this conversation:
Girl In Denial: No, I never had a sexual thing with him.
Curious Guy: So you didn’t have sex with him?
Girl In Denial: No, I fucked him, but it wasn’t, you know, a thing.
Curious Guy (sounding slightly broken inside): Oh.