Brad and Coffee » Newport Starbucks @ PCH & Bayside

I Wonder If They Notice When I Take My Laptop In There Too?

admin — Sat, 05 Sep 2009 20:30:20 +0000

Did you know they track your time spent in the bathroom at Starbucks? Well, they do. And did you know caffeine is a natural laxative? Well, it is.

Baristo (to Barista): “He’d go in the bathroom for half an hour. This is a small place. If you’re not out here, we know you’re in the bathroom.”

Tic-Tac-Cow.

admin — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 21:23:19 +0000

Get it? The chair was leather?
Oh… you got it?
Why didn’t you laugh?
Yeah, you said it’s funny, but that’s not the same as laughing.
Oh, yeah… I guess so.

Lot Rage.

admin — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:30:16 +0000

I am of the belief that when you get a parking spot, you should be able to leave at your leisure.

Well, Hummer Soccer Mom doesn’t agree.

After a woman purchased her coffee-related drink, she left. I didn’t think anything of it until I heard honking outside. The woman was sitting in her car (in the first parking spot) enjoying her coffee-related drink as a soccer mom in a bright yellow Hummer was waiting behind her for the parking spot honking.

The woman, bless her, stayed in the spot at the Hummer Soccer Mom honked eight more times, separated by about 30 seconds each. This is all happening in a fairly empty parking lot. There were tons of spots not 30 feet away.

What would have be an extra 10 seconds of stress-free walking cost this woman a solid four minutes of pure anger-ridden parking lot anxiety.

She probably didn’t need coffee.

Bill And Zach’s Excellent Adventure.

admin — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 21:15:02 +0000

How do you know when a bro answers the phone?

Cellular Bro: “Hello?… Zacharonious!”

GIVE ME ESPRESSO IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

admin — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:23:01 +0000

So there I was, in Starbucks minding my own business when Lonely Guy sitting across from me by himself goes into a stroke-like blank stare and mutters, “Arnold” under his breath. I was fairly certain I’d just witnessed someone develop Alzheimer’s in front of my eyes, until he finally got out what he was trying to say…

Lonely Guy: “Arnold is here!”

I guess it was not a tumor. Lonely Guy was right. Arnold Schwarzenegger walked in with a posse, ordered a double espresso, had a chat, then left. He didn’t even say he’d be back.

Alright, I’m done with the Arnold references…

ICE TO SEE YOU!

More pictures:

The Apology.

admin — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 07:31:00 +0000

I’ve been neglecting my posting duty. I know. I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, the reason I haven’t been writing here is because I’ve been writing things actually related to my career. I’ve still been having weird coffee experiences, and I’ve still been taking pictures and making notes. I’ve just now finally had the time to finally write out all of the posts formally.

I’ve got 26 posts loaded in the cartridge, compiled from experiences over the last three months. They’re set to be posted one per afternoon for the next 26 afternoons, which should lead us straight up to 100 posts just days before the one year anniversary of the site, and also the… Coffee Awards!

Check back often. Comment when you can. Sorry about the occasional typos.

Stop Looking At Me, Sir.

admin — Mon, 11 May 2009 19:49:22 +0000

I found it exceptionally hard to get anything accomplished with this tote bag staring at me. Not only was it creepy for obvious reasons, but the face also closely resembles how I picture myself in my mind’s eye.

Twitter and Coffee.

admin — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:31:05 +0000

In case anyone is interested, I twitter (tweet?) over at http://twitter.com/bradandcoffee. It’s not like this site in that it doesn’t always relate to coffee, but I felt that I’d pass it along anyway.

Also, thanks to the person who google’d “Brad douchebag name” and ended up here.

The Daily Pilot: Exposing OC’s Real News

admin — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:13:43 +0000

Three biz-casual guys sat down at a table together. The conversation seriously went like this…

Frontman: Did you see? I was on the cover of the Daily Pilot today.
Self Promoter: Did you see my ad?
Realist: Who reads the paper?

Frontman and Self Promoter shrugged then continued on to another topic. A few minutes later, Frontman got a call. Frontman spoke loud enough for the entire coffee shop to eavesdrop. It went like this…

Frontman: Hey. Yeah. Oh man, I got robbed last night. I lost twenty-five hundred. Check this. I get pocket jacks and he gets pocket nines. I bet 250, he raises 500, I go all in at 1300. The river comes up 4 5 6 7 8. I got taken. Let me finish here and I’ll call you later.

I feel I should explain my amusement with the above story. I really enjoy when people have one sided conversations on the phone that shows off how awesome they are.

Here is another example of such a conversation I heard…

Bluetooth Guy: Yeah, the economy is so bad I can’t even sell my Ferrari, man. I really wanted to upgrade to a newer one, but nobody wants this one.

Bluetooth Guy was actually overheard at the airport, but I felt it was relevant enough to break the coffee rule, just this one time.

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do…

admin — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 12:26:07 +0000

Whatcha gonna do when you’re on fire and they’re not helping you because they are hanging out with Baristas?

Two cops were talking to the Baristas when one of their walkies goes off, reports some number, then he runs out of the door leaving the other cop and the Baristas behind.

Barista: Oohhh, that was exciting. What was that?
Cop: Oh, just an accident. I should probably go help.

Cop takes a big drink of coffee and doesn’t move.

Everyone: Hahahahahahaha…