My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

A Thief In Our Midst.

This blog has a long standing relationship with the hobos of Starbucks.  Some of them are fairly harmless, some like to watch, others are paying patrons, and some dare to walk that fine line of what is considered legal.
While standing in line the other day, however, I saw a not-very-hobo-looking man walk up and grab [...]

It Was Awkward While It Lasted.

Note: This post breaches one of my cardinal rules about blogging; keep it short and sweet.  Still, if you’re truly interested in the depths of my awkwardness, this one is for you.  Trust me.
I’ve been keeping this story on the back-burner for a while because it was still simmering, but I’m pretty sure it’s done [...]

I’ve Been Called Out.

Let me start off by apologizing for the lack of posts.  I was out of town for a while, thus not following the regular Starbucks routine.
The other day at Starbucks one of the baristas finally decided to ask me what it is that I do.  She asked if I was studying, but I told her [...]

Over-Caffeinated Valley.

So, as I sit here at almost 4 in the morning trying to get some work done, I’ve realized that the graph of the Uncanny Valley is a pretty good match for my productivity vs coffee intake.
If you are unfamiliar with the uncanny valley, it is the idea that while robots become more pleasing as [...]

B.L. Update.

Do you remember B.L. from this previous post?  Well, it turns out that she wasn’t a fellow patron, but actually a barista.  She is actually a rather friendly barista who not only gave me free blueberry cake, but who also seems to enjoy talking to all of the customers.  Along with lessening the weirdness of [...]

I Don’t Think Any Of Us Expected Him To Say That.

At about 730 pm last night, Starbucks was completely quiet.  Everyone was minding their own business when a Panicky Man suddenly stood up and yelled…
Did you hear that girl screaming?  There is a girl screaming at the top of her lungs!
He looked out the windows, then ran out of the Starbucks leaving behind not only [...]

Free Coffee Is Expensive.

Today at Starbucks I found a money clip on the ground.  It had at least one twenty and about 5 to 7 other bills.  Being the good samaritan I am, I turned it over to the barista, who in turn gave me free coffee for “doing a good deed.”  Later I also got some free [...]

A Careful Choice of Words.

Apparently Starbucks is a great place for old dudes to hit on high school girls.  Today I saw a Creepy Older Guy (about 40, business suit) chatting up a very spunky younger girl (high school-looking) that he’d clearly talked to previously.  I’ll call her B.L.  You’ll see why.
Note: she wasn’t sitting at his table, but [...]

Don’t Drink and Drive.

I recently discovered my car had been sideswiped.  Not horrible, but a few nice long scrapes in the rear passanger quarter panel.  It is clear that someone cut it to hard when pulling out of thier parking spot next to mine.   It also goes for about two feet or so, thus the person obviously realized [...]

It Was Brown and Shaped Like a Cup.

Someone lost their coffee in Starbucks.  I’m not sure how it happened, but he couldn’t find his coffee in the small, mostly empty shop.  A barista was actually nice enough to help him search for the missing brew, but the search quickly ended in failure.  The coffee seems to be gone.  The barista was nice [...]