My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

The Man That Puts His Hands In My Mouth.

So remember this post from a while back, where I mentioned there might be another story?  This is that other story.
I almost didn’t want to post this because it is so weird that it sounds fictional, but I assure you it is not.  So that group that was talking in the previous post also happened [...]

Son, Get Your Act Together.

This was an actual conversation between a very harsh father and his 5 year-old son, grammar errors and all.  I typed it out as it was actually going down.  Note that the father was completely serious and very short with the kid through all of this.
Harsh Dad: I want to know what you learned.
Kid: I [...]

Heck’s Angels

Okay, so this technically isn’t in a Starbucks, but I took these pictures while waiting at the light to turn into the Starbucks parking lot.
The hardest part about this post?  Picking just one title.  Other alternatives were:
On The Way to The FMSGOA (Future Mall Security Guards of America) Meeting
Can Modern Bullies Run 12 mph?
“Hey guys, [...]

Headphones. Jacked.

I got my coffee, sat down, put my headphones on, opened up my laptop, started playing some music, then opened the script I was working on that day.
It took me a whole song* to realize that I had put the earbuds in my ears, but I’d never plugged them into my computer. I was [...]

This Sucks, No Matter How You Slice It

Word of warning: this isn’t a funny story. This one just kinda sucks, so I’m going to keep it short. While at Starbucks one day, a homeless man entered. He was quite dirty and clearly had a bit of crazy in his eye. Because it was a slow day and there were [...]

Of Portly Dudes and High School Girls

So there was this older (40ish) portly dude sitting by himself in Starbucks. There was this younger girl sitting by herself in Starbucks. After a few moments Portly Dude strikes up a conversation with Younger Girl. It is soon revealed that Younger Girl was in high school and waiting for a college [...]

Flavor Saver

This story isn’t as funny as it is interesting on a social level. A lady in front of me kept telling the barista (I think that is what they like to be called) that she wanted the same flavor of Sorbetto that she was served on her last visit, though she didn’t know which [...]

What Are A Few Zeros, Anyway?

In Starbucks now and some people are talking about a surgical seminar.  A guy and two girls.  One of the girls is in scrubs.  I am pretty sure they are medical professionals.  Guy then says this:
Math Guy: This guy made 370 million dollars.  That is a lot of money.  That is over half of what [...]

HP All-In-One

A lot of people bring laptops into Starbucks, myself included. One day some dude brought in a full size HP all-in-one scanner/printer/copier. He proceeded to print out hundreds of pages. I took a picture when he got up to go to the bathroom. That is all.

It’s A Trap!

I’m going to let you in on something.  Starbucks is like a refueling station for hot chicks.  They dock, fill up with nonfat soy latte, then fly off my radar.  This is why I was pleased, but not overly surprised when one day I found myself in line behind what appeared to be an attractive [...]