My name is Brad. I am a writer, I am awkward in social situations, and I spend a lot of time in coffee shops trying to escape all of the terribly distracting things I find at home (video games, movies, tv, cats, comics, vitamin water, robots, etc.). I rotate amongst local coffee shops throughout the week so that no single location becomes too familiar with my presence. Spending any appreciable amount of time in one place is bound to make you privy to the occasional odd situation, but I have come to believe that coffee shops are breeding grounds for weird. The following is my account of the wonderfully weird and horribly awkward situations I have encountered.

Don’t Drink and Drive.

I recently discovered my car had been sideswiped.  Not horrible, but a few nice long scrapes in the rear passanger quarter panel.  It is clear that someone cut it to hard when pulling out of thier parking spot next to mine.   It also goes for about two feet or so, thus the person obviously realized [...]

They’re Multiplying.

When I showed up at Starbucks today, there was one homeless guy sleeping on one of the outside chairs.  When I left, there were three.

Something Awkward.

There is a couple (20ish) currently sitting in Starbucks, both looking incredibly glum.  The guy is staring off into space, while the girl stares at him, once in a while saying, “Don’t be sad.  Don’t be sad.  Now I’m sad.”  Then they fill the room with awkward silence.  The guy caught me glancing over at [...]

That’s a Venti 10-4, Buddy. Over.

Firefighters like Starbucks.  I see them there all the time.
One day I was standing behind two of them in line when the alarm on their radio went off.  Poor guys, didn’t even get to order.  Oh well, duty calls, right?  So one of the firefighters grabs the radio…
Firefighter: This is Firefighter.
Dispatch: Hey there.  We are [...]

Homeless and Coffee

Homeless man enters.  Buys small coffee. Digs straw (used?) out of trash despite a full container of straws on counter. Drinks small coffee.  Fills empty cup up with creamer.  Drinks entire cup of creamer.  Gets shooed away.  Just sits outside instead.

Close Encounters of the Awkward Kind

So, a while back at one particular location I started noticing a fellow regular (FR).  She frequented the place, studying for her MCATs .   Though the first few times I saw her passed without event, things soon got awkward.
Awkward Chivalry: FR gets up from one of the comfy chairs next to me to go to [...]

Maybe It Was Jenna Malone?

This is a recent one. This week actually. I was driving out of the Starbucks parking lot when i noticed Cute Redhead putting up a sign of some sort. I also noticed that she noticed me. She started to slowly wave, her facial expression unchanging. I slowly waved back, my facial [...]

UGGGGGGHHHHHH!

A mom brings in 3 kids with her, all around the ages of 3 to 7.  They sit at the table closest to the counter, where all the employees are easily within earshot.  The little girl, very impressed by this particular Starbucks, begins this exchange:
Little Girl: Mommy, if we lived here would you get a [...]

Passive Agressive Awkwardness

At this particular Starbucks there were two comfy chairs (there are now three, but only two when this took place). I like to sit in said comfy chairs. One day while sitting in half of all of the comfy chairs, this exchange took place:
Setup: Couple enters Starbucks. Doesn’t notice Brad in one [...]